’ I answered, my voice as tired as my mind. ‘But what if you meet someone and want to get married again?’ Alanna asked, the deep compassion she always felt when someone was being mistreated shining out through her sad eyes ‘What if you fall in love?’ I laughed and shook my head. I wasn’t planning on falling in love and I made sure I wasn’t in that particular type of harm’s way. ‘I really don’t think that’s going to happen,’ I answered ‘but if it happens I’ll have to try to make the best of that situation don’t I?’ We sat and lay in silence for a long while, all of us probably thinking about different aspects of my story. It wasn’t a bad kind of silence, just contemplative and strangely restful at the same time. I kept my own mind away from memories of Helen’s last days at home and her strange erratic anger and general mood swings. I tried to think about later memories, about moving away from the house and my mother stepping in to take care of the kids so I could go back to work. And. With slowness and care he parted his rosebud lips and tookthe cock into his mouth, careful not to move too far to one side or brushhis chin against the bottlecap-wide scrotum that rested taut under thetiny penis. With a surgeon's delicacy he separated the globule of semenfrom the member and swallowed it. There was a nearly silent exhalationthrough his nostrils that would have been a whimpering, shivery sigh ifhe had dared to make a noise in the black quiet of the early day. The semen tasted of sugar and lemon. It was an immaculate candied treatto him. It was a delicacy that, being slave to his mistress, only he waschosen to appreciate. The fact that his mistress, when given to bouts ofsexual need or hunger could indulge in the semen herself, was irrelevant.At least, it had to be if he was going to have any chance of retaininghis sanity. He had nothing else in his life now. So few things he couldretain control or pleasure over. He had the memories of his former life,his futon, and his.
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